Standing alone under the night sky, I can still feel the warmth of your arms surrounding me in the moonlight. It was so brilliantly clear that night in the stillness. All I could hear was your heartbeat; all I could taste was your lips on mine. Nothing has ever felt so pure as the burning need I had for you in that moment. Wanting to draw you into my body with only the stars to witness our passion.
Now standing here in the empty darkness; all I can do is imagine the feel of your pulse under my tongue. The low growl as you pull me against your body.
Running my hands through my hair I imagine your grip, strong and fierce, crushing my mouth against your own.
The light of the moon is like a drug, a physical sensation tracing along my skin.
If there was even the slightest breeze to stir my hair I would moan from the sensory overload but the air is thick and heavy with heat. Weighing down my spirit as I reach out seeking some contact with you. I feel trapped in this mortal shell. This body is just a prison for the desires that spill from my heart and mind. My knees weaken and I can't keep to my feet as another wave of longing passes over me, driving me to the grass, steadying myself braced on the earth. I don't know if I want you to feel this, or if two of us so far apart would be driven mad by the forces pulling us together.
I force myself to my hands and knees, stumbling to my feet and pushing myself through the blanket of night to my door. Blindly seeking some escape from the wrenching need I finally reach my darkened bedroom. I stop in the lightless room, listening to my breath coming in ragged pants while I search for something to silence this aching emptiness - if not to satisfy the need in my soul, at least to calm the need of my body.
My hand searches through a drawer and my fingers brush something cool and smooth.
I freeze, only my fingertips caressing the glass. It isn't enough, my heart knows this, and it seems so wrong that the shaft beneath my fingers is called a toy. It's a pacifier, something to ease my body for now while I can't be with you.
I fall back on the carpet and yank at the fastenings of my jeans, a slight smile touching my lips as I echo your frustrations with these same buttons that are all that hold my body imprisoned. Now as my eyes adjust to the dim light the glass rod in my hand appears as a magic wand, something far more than a bit of sculpted glass. My legs part as they are freed from the constriction of my pants and I know that all along my body has prepared itself for you. One hand slips down to the junction of my thighs and I sob softly, wishing for your capable touch to explore my body.
I flinch away from my own touch, surprised at the slippery fluid that coats my labia and trickles down my thighs. My right hand still grasps the shaft of glass and as it warms slowly, my mind still fighting what my body so craves - to open myself to you, to be penetrated, to draw you inside but unfortunately, I am alone.
There is nothing I can do now but take the substitute and hope you will forgive my weakness. My tongue caresses the head of the shaft of glass - tasteless, inhuman; nothing like the pulsing warmth I know when I taste you. My eyes close and I guide my magic wand to the entrance of my body, pressing the carved head against the source of the fluid that coats even my thighs now. I cannot wait and force it inside, crying out softly as it enters. My body goes rigid, my head pressed tight to the floor, all but frozen as my back arches up, feeling nothing but the head inside my pussy. All of my existence narrows to that hardness inside me.
Nothing matters but to fill the emptiness between my legs.
Another slow deep breath and I push the dildo in a bit further, exploring my secrets with its unyielding head.
I want to see you, know you are enjoying this; I am so lost in an agony of need and I hated this feeling. That I can't imagine how you will feel when you know what I have done without you!
My hips rock forward now, pressing the ridge of the dildo against the sensitive spot inside me - how is it that your cock can find it so easily and now I have to search to find it on my own? You know my body better than I know myself.
I clench my teeth, not even needing to breathe as my body rocks closer to ecstasy.
My need for air is less important than my need to orgasm now; I am too close to stop. Every nerve is on fire, and my heart is about to burst through my chest as I scream - I can not form words, it is only a formless sound as the world dissolves around me and colors explode behind my closed eyelids. It is almost pain as my pussy clenches in orgasm while my hands claw at the floor, at the air, my nails digging into the skin of my palms.
Desperate for you, for your touch, I must live with the simple orgasm I have given myself.
Feeling defeated and ashamed I have done this without your knowing, I pulled the glass out of me, dripping my juices and cum. I dare not even taste it! I don’t want the memory to be stained anymore than it already is! With heavy regret, I stand, my legs a little shaky and toss the toy into the bathroom sink to be cleaned in the morning.
Gently as if not to disturb the stillness of the night, I crawl in my empty bed, feeling the cold crowd me. My hand slides to your side of the bed, my fingers searching for you knowing your not there. With nothing but the emptiness and loneliness I feel, I allow myself to fall asleep.
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